Posts Tagged ‘ Iron Man ’

Dear Marvel,

I see that you will be celebrating 70 years of Marvel in 2009, complete with variant covers and little ’70 Years’ corner boxes.

Maybe I’m not quite as good at maths as I thought I was because when I started picking up US Marvel comics in 1986, I was fairly certain that all the corner boxes then trumpeted that that was Marvel’s 25th Anniversary.

In fact, I’m relatively sure that all your November 1986 issues carried special anniversary covers too. Of those books, only eleven are still around in some form or other (I’m counting X-Factor and New Mutants to be generous), but only three are still on the same numbering run – and of those, only Uncanny X-Men has been numbered straight through.

Sadly, Ewoks, Care Bears and Heathcliff are no longer published by you, and you’ve lost both the Transformers and GI Joe licenses since then.

But I digress.

The point I would like to make is that if you’ve got a big year planned, maybe I can give you some pointers on ways to make it a good year…

1) No deals with the Devil (or demons, imps, devil substitutes or hedge fund managers). It may actually result in a substantial uptick in quality of the title, but it’s not worth the year of pissing and moaning from people who somehow believe that this will cause mythical young readers to fall into satanism (or become accountants).

2) Stop with the status quo-shaking crossovers. Look, if you change the status quo every twelve to eighteen months or so, the new status quo doesn’t have time to become status quo, okay? I understand that BOLD NEW DIRECTIONS! result in temporary sales boosts, but eventually you’re going to lose readers because of them. I know you’ve got War of Kings and probably some mutant-superhuman war thing lined up, but try to keep line-wide ramifications to a minimum, eh?

3) If you must have a status quo-shaking crossover, try to limit the number of new titles that spring out of it. For every Avengers: The Initiative that actually succeeds, you get a The Order which will fail and a New Warriors that will flounder, or an Omega Flight which will just plain tank. Just concentrate on putting out fewer new books and making sure that they’re good ones. Like Guardians of the Galaxy, which is awesome.

4) Stop launching new titles with old title names that bear little relation to those old titles unless you actually have a plan to tie it to the team’s legacy in some way. A good way of doing this is as Abnett and Lanning have done in Guardians of the Galaxy, which is awesome. A bad way is shoehorning Rage and Justice into the New Warriors book, which only reminds us how much better the original book was.

5) I get that #1′s sell, but if you want to relaunch a character who already has a book, just do it in that book. Otherwise the existing title suddenly becomes secondary and it’s blindingly obvious that it’s being phased out. It just pisses readers of that book off. And yes, I know that Invincible Iron Man is pretty good, that’s not the point. The point is that for the past six months, Director of SHIELD has been the red-headed step child.

6) Reinventing characters is great. I for one would love a new spin on, say, Nomad. Or Rocket Racer. But leave alone existing marquee characters unless they actually need a revamp. For example, if you have a character that has had more development in the past year than in the past ten years put together, don’t revert to the most annoying take on that character and introduce a big mean new-colored version of him who, although he may make a good visual, kind of stinks up the place. Am I being too vague, or would you like to look at the cover above?

7) Quit with the Zombie and Ape variants. I know I don’t have to buy them, and I don’t. But they annoy the crap out of me*. We get it! You’re marketing geniuses! You can change any cover into a variant by changing a little bit…it’s irritating in the extreme. Next things you’ll be sticking Skrull chins onto…oh.

There are some great underused characters out there who could do with a limited series or ongoing to spotlight them. The upcoming Cloak and Dagger is a good start, but how about the main MU Power Pack? Alpha Flight? Werewolf by Night? The Shroud? And, of course, Dazzler? I realize that you must get burned on these things but honestly, don’t they sound better to you than Hellcat or The Last Defenders?

9) Not just Wolverine needs inventory stories when he’s running late. Would it kill you to line up some Fantastic Four one-shots so that by the end of 2009, when we still haven’t finished Millar and Hitch’s run, we at least have a couple of issues starring the team out there? Yes, I’m being facetious and delays have lessened over the past couple of years, but I wouldn’t say no to the odd one-shot starring Marvel’s First Family.

10) You’ve got some great books out there at the moment. Captain America, Nova, Guardians of the Galaxy, Incredible Hercules, Captain Britain and MI:13 are all solid gold and I continue to hear very good things about Immortal Iron Fist. Don’t screw ‘em up, ‘kay?

Reuters (and therefore everyone else) is reporting that Terrence Howard is no longer playing Jim Rhodes in the second Iron Man movie – and that Don Cheadle is now in the role.

Marvel had no comment, but sources close to the deal said negotiations with Howard fell through over financial differences, among other reasons. Marvel, which had wanted to work with Cheadle, then decided to take the role in another direction and approached the actor…

I’m not sure how I feel about this – I thought Howard did an excellent job as Rhodey and was looking forward to seeing him don the War Machine armor.

That said, for my money Cheadle is a much better actor, not to mention surprisingly bad-ass so I don’t feel that bad about him coming on board. I don’t think the five year age difference will make any difference, and Cheadle is actually closer to Robert Downey Jr’s age so that works out well.

I guess as long as I see a grey and silver armor with big shoulder-mounted cannons, I’ll be happy…

…rampant speculation and possible SPOILERS below (well, if my random speculation is right)…

In the latest post-Secret Invasion issue of Ms Marvel, we end with the out of the blue realization by Carol Danvers of what she needs to do next:

Then in this week’s issue of Deadpool, the crazy merc’s data about how to kill the Skrull Queen doesn’t reach intended recipient Nick Fury because it’s hijacked by…Norman Osborn.

And then there’s this preview of an upcoming Moon Knight.

Uh, what was that again?

Is that a SHIELD agent about to address Osborn as ‘Director’?

Now granted, he could be referring to him in his capacity of Director of the Thunderbolts, and I’m not even sure if Moon Knight is set after the invasion or not, but I was linking some dots here

We know thanks to this that there will be casualties at the end of Secret Invasion. And we know that Nick Fury will still have his Secret Warriors at the end of the war – and from the sound of it they’ll still be secret, which suggests to me that Fury may still be underground and not SHIELD leader.

It’s pretty much a given that Iron Man won’t be Director following the war too, what with his Iron Man, Director of SHIELD book being cancelled in favor of Invincible Iron Man.

I think Norman Osborn will be filling the position. And I think he’ll be doing some double dealing that costs a lot of lives to get there – but maybe only certain people, such as, say Ms Marvel, will know what went down.

That would certainly tie in with new Thunderbolts writer Andy Diggle saying that the book will be taking some new directions, especially if they end up being a SHIELD black ops unit with international reach.

So. Norman Osborn, Director of SHIELD. What do you think?

Busting shit up’s all well and good, but a man has to know when enough’s enough – and Jim Rhodes knows that, because bromance is about looking out for each other!

He’s more than just a pilot.

And that’s why Jim Rhodes knows that when his best friend’s stripping to his skivvies, it’s time to batten down the hatches and get some alone time!

In fact, what is it about Tony stripping down in the plane in front of Jim?

Hmmm……

…it’s for the ladies, a’ight?

No Cambodian slime-ball prison can hold Jim Rhodes!

He’s busting heads, taking names and packin’ the artillery – because he can handle an AK-47. ‘Cause that’s how Jim Rhodes rolls!

Hell no!

Got a fish tank full of water that weighs upwards of 300lb?

Jim Rhodes can throw that mother through a window like it was made of nothing if he has to – and that’s before he puts any armor on!

And that’s why Jim Rhodes Week’s getting a special extension!

Bow-wacka-wacka-wacka…you know how the music goes.

Jim Rhodes Week may have gone on seven days but by popular demand, I’m extending it even more – because, dammit, there’s a lot of things you can learn from Rhodey – like the fact that it never hurts to suck up to the boss!

B’romance means never telling your bro the truth about their stupid-ass hair ‘doo when they’re looking that pleased about it.

And Jim Rhodes knows that!

It’s that kinda smarts that’s getting Jim Rhodes Week extended!

There comes a time in every b’romance where the guys fall out. And when that happend, Jim Rhodes ain’t one to tip-toe around this issues and sugarcoat the truth.

No way – if Tony Stark was crawling around the gutter soaking up booze, then Jim’s gonna tell it like it is!

And if he’s a walking rum pot, then he’s gonna damn well call him a walking rum pot! And no-one – but no-one – lays hands on Jim Rhodes ‘less he asks for it!

Still, when all’s said and done bros will be bros – and when you make up, you make up like a man: with a handshake and, if you’re a real man, a hand on the hip!

…and he ain’t afraid to show it on the dancefloor!

When the boss is away, Jim Rhodes still shows the girls a good time. He can cut a rug with the best of ‘em – and he doesn’t discriminate against any nationality. Sure, he might not like it when French guys take potshots at the boss, but he’s more than happy to romance their ladies.

But…what would Tony say?

Don’t go distracting Jim Rhodes with none of your sweet talk when he’s flying, alright? Cause he’s a pilot and he knows what goes down when you don’t pay attention to what you’re doing.

And yeah, Jim Rhodes knows he’s cute, Tony…

Jim Rhodes knows who signs his checks. And he ain’t about to let no Frenchie put him in the poorhouse.

But we know it’s all just an act to cover up the b’romance that he and Tony have going on. ‘Cause folks just wouldn’t understand.

Jim. Tony. The b’romance really kicked in when they met face to face.

Was it the legendary ‘tache?

Was it the voice that sounded so much like the one of that tin man that Rhodey rode out the jungle on the shoulders of?

Or was it the killer safari suit?

Whatever it was, just as soon as the Tony appeared on the scene, Rhodey gave the pretty nurse he’d been buttering up the kiss off.

Because it’s bros before hos, you dig?

Yeah, Jim Rhodes ain’t afraid to get close to another man, not if it means a sweet ride out of the jungle, anyway.

At the time, Jim didn’t know that the man under the armor was a handsome devil, a multi-millionaire, or that he sported a sweet ‘tache that would give Tom Selleck upper-lip envy – but you can see the b’romance starting to bloom.

“Yeah, the guy said he was an American but he was wearing that funky tin suit so I couldn’t tell if he was telling the truth, and yeah, when you’re deep in country in Nam, you shoot first and ask questions later. So I unloaded a clip on the guy’s punk ass. Sure, I could’a caught a ricochet or two but I ain’t ‘fraid of no stinking bullets. I’m a man’s man and that’s all there is.”

Jim Rhodes and Tony Stark. Friends. Brothers. Comrades in arms. It’s Jim Rhodes Week here on Comic By Comic – and every day we’ll be celebrating the man. The myth. The legend.

And a b’romance for the ages.

Poor old Jim Rhodes.

At one point Iron Man’s pilot, Rhodey’s been bounced from pillar to post for years.

He becomes Iron Man, only to have Tony’s armor screw with his mind.

He hangs around with Tony only in his tighty-whiteys way too much. Way too much.

He becomes War Machine when Tony dies, only to have Tony not be dead at all, just screwing with his mind.

He strikes out on his own and joins up with the Avengers West Coast only to have them disbanded and reformed by Tony as Force Works. Only Rhodey doesn’t get an invite.

He gets rid of the armor only to get bonded to a weird alien-parasite-thingummy armor.

He somehow gets rid of that armor and eventually ends up in The Crew. Which gets cancelled after, like, two issues.

He ends up working for Office of National Emergency (O.N.E.) in a big old Sentinel armor, then gets smacked around by Black Panther and Storm. Panther gives him a lecture then buggers off.

He then ends up as some kind of unexplainedly cyborg thing back in an armor that looks like his old one as an instructor at the Initiative, where he doesn’t get to do much except snarl at people through his faceplate.

And then, finally, Tony uses him as a failsafe against the Skrulls because he built the new armor out of old tech ‘just in case’.

On the plus side, he just got hooked up to a giant space station and transformed it into a giant kick-ass transforming robot thing.

So, y’know, upside.

Oh, also, to the joy of exactly one person (me), Christos Gage bought back Cybermancer!

…or, what to write when I don’t have time to post anything of substance. So why don’t you…

1) Hop on over to Hobotrashcan to see my guest blog on reconnecting to your inner geek. Granted, if you’re here then chances are you’re pretty well connected already…

2) Spend time on Paizo considering downloading all those classic AD&D and D&D guides and modules that you played with when you were a gamer….

3) Save the Aquaman Hoodie!

4) Follow this blog so it pops up on your Google Reader and blogger dashboard.

5) Pick up the new printing of the Atomic Robo trade while it lasts!

6) Read Mike Carey’s Felix Castor novels because they’re great! (No, they really are. Exorcists, murders, ghosts, demons, loup-garous, a zombie fence and a lesbian succubus. Pretty much everything you need).

7) Spend some time playing with City of Memory, a project to record stories of New York.

Read about Stan Lee and Jon Favreau’s Iron Man press conference.

9) Go watch the X-Men Origins: Wolverine trailer again. I keep changing the source of it, and so far this one’s lasted.

10) Have a good weekend!

As I arrived back in New York late last night and this time yesterday I was drinking coffee and eating pain au chocolat in a little tabac in rural France, you’ll forgive me if this isn’t really that coherent.