Random-Archived

These ads are running in the UK (or they were, anyway – not quite sure) and feature some of the best acting that JCVD has done since…ever. Well, except for the unexpectedly good JCVD.

It seems to me that Coors’ ad company is trying to create their own Old Spice Guy using Van Damme – and while they’re not quite as enjoyable as those ads, they’re still pretty good. The second one is my personal favorite.

The first was the discovery (via @danfaust) of The Society of Unordinary Young Ladies

Its a black and white comic taking the idea of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen but populating it with (mainly) young ladies from 70s and 80s US sitcoms. I admit, the cast in the first issue meant nothing to me on account of the UK not getting The Facts of Life, but from the Charles in Charge line I was fully clued up.

Amazing stuff, and the first four issues are online.

The second thing that made my day was this, and I think it speaks for itself. Unfortunately I can’t embed it right now, but still. Awesome.

Today, barring complications, the Space Shuttle Atlantis will launch at 11.26A.M. EDT on it’s final mission – and the final mission of the Space Shuttle Fleet, which has included the shuttles Columbia, Discovery, Endeavour Atlantis itself, and of course the ill-fated Challenger.

In addition, the first shuttle was named the Enterprise, which performed the early test flights in 1977 but was never orbital – and yes, it was named after a certain starship:

Current NASA director Michael Griffin may have said he believes that the shuttle program was a huge mistake, but – from a completely non-scientific, non-budgetary standpoint at least – I can’t agree, because it gave people the chance to dream.

We can’t all be astronauts or pilots, or afford to go into space ourselves, or be Brian Blessed (not completely random, as last I heard he was undergoing astronaut training), but we can dream of it and the space shuttle helped us do that. Watching the shuttle be launched into space inspired me – and millions more – and that can’t be underestimated. It looked like the future, and we’re so jaded by special effects in movies, and by the economy, and by wars at home and abroad that I think sometimes we forget that dreaming and wonder are important.

The next stage of NASA’s mission calls for a return to capsules mounted on top of the boosters. The Constellation project was canceled by the Obama administration, but the President maintains that returning man to the moon – and taking man to Mars in the next 30 years – is an achievable goal.

The space program gives us the chance to meet that goal. It extends our reach and reminds us that we can make what appears to be impossible possible (or possimpible). I hope it succeeds, and that we send manned craft back into space soon – because I want my son to grow up looking at the stars knowing that there are people up there, instead of asking me why we no longer send men there.

I’ll be watching the launch on NASA’s site later this morning, and chances are I’ll be a little misty-eyed while I do.

Ah, Canada.

The country that gave us Alpha Flight…

…Due South…

…William Shatner…

….a staggering number of Canadian Sex Acts (site totally SFW)…

…and Robin Sparkles…

You know, Canada jokes never really get old for me. Sadly.

Happy Canada Day, you crazy canucks!

Charlie Sheen’s very public meltdown has been all over the news this week with barely a day going by without his definitely-not-drug-fuelled-honest rants getting just a little bit crazier.

I had an idea last Friday – which I joked with a friend about – for a site with a revolving quote every time you refreshed it. Of course, I did nothing about it and on Monday I found the Live the Sheen Way site and cursed myself.

Always one to act a little later than I should, today I put up the Motivational Sheen site, with some of Sheen’s quotes as little t-shirt designs…

…and of course there’s a matching t-shirt sale site via spreadshirt.

Now, it’s not funny to take advantage of people who are mentally ill, obviously. But if they’re living Charlie Sheen’s bitching life, it seems easier somehow, so go on over to the other site, like it, tweet it, and make me happy.

Please?

The best ad campaign on the internet (or on TV, for that matter) is back, striking brown eyes and all.

And while we’re talking about Old Spice, I had to point you in the direction of this, found on the awesome Oddity Collector in answer to a meme:

The Old Spice Man suffers a mid-life crisis – what vehicle do they buy to cope?

Hello Ladies,

I am pleased to hear that every one of your men now celebrates your birthday by cooking you a seven course gourmet dinner with the rare and exotic spices he personally gathered from the rarest and most exotic of jungles – bare handedly fighting his way through hordes of vicious hair-pulling monkeys, confused and hungry Bengal tigers newly escaped from nearby zoos, and the seldom reported tree swinging ninja attack elephants – with the sole motivation of seeing your eyes once again light up with the reflection of his rock like abs and powerful shoulder muscles. And of course, that he does all this clad only in ripped silk boxer shorts and the manly scent of Old Spice Bodywash, and not a lady scented body wash.

It seems my work on this planet is now done, and it is time for me to leave for other worlds which remain in desperate need of my chiseled good looks, deep timbred man voice, and freshly laundered towel to point the way to the Old Spice section of their shower products aisle. Or, in the case of planets already conquered by self-aware and merciless death robots, the Old Spice section of their scented maintenance oil aisle. You may be wondering, do lady robots care if their man robots smell like Old Spice, and not lady-scented maintenance oil? Of course they do.

How will I get to these places? Look up: Before me has just landed a double barreled rainbow, stretching all the way across the sky to the place where I am most needed. Look down: I am riding the rocket powered hover dolphin that will take me there. I am riding this dolphin backwards, to allow you a view of my un-shirted torso as I leave into the cosmos. This is my last gift to you.

Yes, Ladies of Earth, we have come to our moment of farewell. While there was never any doubt to my success in this – or anything else – I can only imagine how heartbroken you are to learn your ears will never again be smoothly caressed by the words formed by my thrumming vocal cords and perfectly shaped tongue, nor your eyes sensually massaged by my almost impossible good looks, nor your nostrils passionately embraced by my powerful and manly body smell.

I can only imagine this, because I am only leaving you, and not myself. But even the barest thought of the possibility has left a hole in my metaphorical chest region, like the hole dug by a metaphorical excavator the size of the galaxy and run on the pure awesomeness power of Tyrannosaurus Rexes and supersonic fighter jets. The only thing great enough to fill that hole will be my memories of you, Ladies, and your brave sacrifice for the good of the cosmos.

And remember, although I’ll be gone in both body and spirit, as long as your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady, there will be one sense in which I will never leave you. Olfactory.

Now, how to get Isaiah Mustafa to read it out…?

I just posted over at John Scalzi’s blog (although I’m not sure how many attended the memorial; I’ve read 26,000, but I’ve also read 14,000) and thought I’d repost here because clearly you need to know what I think.

Essentially I thought that Obama’s speech was well written and well delivered, and for a man that I believe often shows emotion at the wrong time (not enough passion when its needed, and too much anger when he should be restrained) I thought he struck the right balance.

What did weird me out – and I’m not sure if this is due to my reticence as a native Brit – was the reaction from the crowd. That there was a crowd of 26,000 in a stadium for a memorial service makes me itchy in itself; that they were actually cheering and shouting during the remarks just struck me as inappropriate. I noticed that when the camera lingered on victims of the shooting and their relatives, they weren’t cheering. Yes, they applauded. Yes, they looked grateful for the President and other’s remarks. But they didn’t whoop and cheer.

Didn’t anybody tell the 25,500 that didn’t know a victim personally why they were there? That it wasn’t a rally? That there’s a bit of etiquette to be had?

For those that missed it, here’s the White House’s video of the speech (and here’s it’s text):

Did you watch the memorial, thinking you were tuning into Human Target? What did you think of the tone?

No really, I am.

Hope everybody had a good holiday season – as usual after visiting home I end up needing another vacation. No rest for the wicked or, apparently, those that have moved across the Atlantic. So tired that I don’t expect to be up to full blogging again until next week.

Is there a reason behind the Bruce Campbell book cover on the front page of the blog or below, I hear you ask…

Well, no, sadly – except that I really enjoyed his first book and have yet to pick this one up even though it’s been out for years. Plus, it’s a great cover.

And, you know, Bruce.

Oh, and as I received absolutely no entries for the Avengers Academy contest, I take away at least some of the following:

1. Nobody cares if comics get canceled;
2. Nobody like free stuff;
3. Nobody likes free stuff that means they have to spend $3 and 5 seconds taking a picture;
4. Nobody reads the blog.

Tossers.

…or your multi-denominational holiday of choice!

I’m away in the UK after today until early in the New Year (for the first Christmas there in three years), so further updates are unlikely until I’m back. In the meantime, I’m on twitter and facebook so you can always follow me there.

I know you want to.

Finally, let me remind you that the chance to win the first volume of Avengers Academy is still ongoing through 12/31/10. So far, zero entries which makes me sad but my wallet strong.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

I make no pretense at understanding what this is for, or who the three people in red t-shirts are, but I don’t think you really need to know. All you need to know is that you’re about to surrender six minutes of your life to the most absurd collection of celebrities, has-beens, almost-weres and Dolph Lundgrens from both sides of the Atlantic singing ‘Let it Be’ – or at least lip-synching to it.

Even the late Leslie Nielsen makes an appearance.

As a Brit, it was especially gratifying to see Bergerac, Rene from ‘Allo, ‘Allo, Right Said Fred, Paul McKenna, and a few others pop in there.

But wait there’s more…because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this…

Dear God, who are these people?!?

Found at via

Bent double, like of old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind:
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys!- An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime…
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in sonic smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,-
My friend, you would not talk with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Wilfred Owen (1893 – 1918)

If I should die, think only this of me:
That there’s some corner of a foreign field
That is for ever England. There shall be
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed;
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware,
Gave, once her flowers to love, her ways to roam,
A body of England’s, breathing English air,
Washed by the rivers, blessed by the suns of home.
And think, this heart, all evil shed away,
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given;
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day;
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness,
In hearts a peace, under an English heaven.

Rupert Brooke (1887-1915)

You may have noticed the blog’s been on hiatus the past few weeks. Or perhaps you didn’t.

Bastards.

Anyway, it’s back, fully recharged and ready to go. There may be some changes round here (again) if I get the chance.

Later today the pull list will be back (as pitiful as it is these days), tomorrow Lost from the Start will be back up and running on its regular schedule, and all will be right with the world.

Let me leave you with a question right now – what do you want to see when you check out a blog? Any suggestions for me?

It’s Friday 13th and I hadn’t even noticed until somebody mentioned it on twitter.

So I clearly don’t care enough to have a horror themed post (or any post) prepared, which is a little upsetting.

Ah well.

There’s no post here today.

Well, there’s this but there’s no post aside from this.

Not that I haven’t got things to say – I actually *gasp* read some comics last night which were, all in all, pretty damn good.

But there are other things going on.

The game, as Sherlock Holmes (or Henry IV, for that matter) might say, is afoot.

Honestly, I’m not a huge gamer and have never really played a MMORPG – I wish I had the time but just don’t.

That said, I do enjoy The Guild…and their latest video to support season four is almost enough to convince me to play…through song!

There are days I think my skills are wasted.

And then there are days like today.

Thanks, @Smarthero.